…CONTINUATION to My High School Love Story (Part 1)
“YEEESSS”, that was the first word that came out in my mouth after hearing the answer of her to my question. I felt at that time that she was my girlfriend already but not really, (lol). She actually only permitted me to court her but I felt amazingly different. It was a feeling of a young heart being in-loved for the first time. After that episode, everything somehow changed in an instant. I was already in constant moved to make her feel that I was really into her, that I was deadly serious about my feelings towards her. Aside from that, my family noticed something different from me. They noticed something weird from me. I started to work and do things I didn’t usually do. Example, I started to do house cleaning like scrubbing and sweeping the entire floor of our house, arranging my bed, washed the dishes, and no more complains if I asked to do something by my parents, etc. Those were the things I was not used to do but I did because of the influence of a very unique and very addictive drug called LOVE.
“Love is in the air”, that was the feeling dwell within me. The feeling was somehow unfathomable. At that moment of my life, I wished time would stop just to savor the moment I had. It seemed I was exaggerating the feeling but that was really the feeling I had at that moment. I hate to admit to myself that I became crazy in-love with the feeling I had.
Two months passed already but still the status was still the same. I honestly became impatient with myself and with her. I felt something different. I was thinking that there was a need to level up. I mean, I wanted to somehow upgrade our relationship. I wanted to make her officially my girlfriend. And for that reason, I initiated a date. I stored strength within me to have the courage to finally confront her and convinced her that all me effort were already enough to finally settle our relationship. I took her to a place which we could talk seriously about the matter I was about to brought up. I was not able to tell her because I was afraid that my expectation would not meet. Though, I was 99 percent sure that she would say “yes” but I felt it was not yet enough. There was still 1 percent that she would say “no”, a word that no one wanted to hear from their loved one. The moment came. I was trembling with fear and excitement. When I was about to say something to her, I noticed in her eyes – it was sadness. I couldn’t explain the feeling disturbing within me. My heart pounded so fast and my body felt numb. But, I was still able to ask her…
”Le, more than 2 months da sa ako yanguyab kanmo, di ba?...(pause) Tapos, laong mo pa…(pause)... sa tanan yanguyab kanmo…(pause)… ako ang aroy badihay nga pag-asa…so unan da sa?...unan da status ko kanmo doun?...
(Le, I’ve courted you for more than two months, then you said that among the suitors who courted you, I am the one who has the biggest chance. So, what is now my status to you?)
She was not able to say something directly. The expression of sadness on her face was still the same. And I think, based on her facial expression, she became more sad hearing the questions I had asked her. Because of that, I became more nervous of the answer that she might say. I could also feel the uneasiness she felt based on the body gestures she showed to me. Then, after a few minutes of silence, she spoke with a low and sad voice.
“I’m very sorry Jay, dili pa sa ako ready doun. Na-appreciate ko gayud ang affort mo pero unhon sa nako nga nakapromise sa ako sako parents nga dili sa gayud ako masuhod ng ana nga relationship kay high school pa sa gud ako. Tugutan lang ko nila mag-uyab2x pag-college dako. Sorry gayud Jay. Unta amigo lang gihapon kita” SORRY” (I’m very sorry Jay, I am not yet ready now. I really appreciate your effort but I have no choice because I made a promise to my parents that I will not enter into such relationship because I’m still in high school. They would allow me to have that relationship when I’m already in college. I’m really sorry. I hope we can still be friends.)
Those words were the most painful words I heard in my entire life. That was my feeling at that moment. Good thing, I was standing in a little bit dark part of that place and she was not able to notice my teary eyes (I think). I was not able to say a single word. I didn’t really know what to say. I bit my lower lips a little bit just to control the falling of my tears but I was not able to control it. I hurriedly turned my back for her not to see me crying. Then, I walked away from her with tears hardly falling in my eyes. She called me but I didn’t hear any words from her. I was temporarily deaf at that moment not to hear any sound from anything or someone. I was badly hurt by those words. I wished at that moment that it was only a nightmare and I wanted to wake up. But, it wasn’t. I couldn’t bare the pain.
...TO BE CONTINUED...
